Um, did I say toddlerspit? Correction. That should be toddlersnot. And baby snot. And husband snot. And my own damned snot.
WARNING: Much complaining ahead.
I can't remember the last time everyone in our house was healthy. Back in September Ought-Six, Addie started with the runny nose. Then Eric got the cold, then I did. For a split second, it looked as if everyone was getting better, then Addie's cold turned into an ear infection and pink eye, Nolie got sick and had to go to the e.r., and I got what would become a month-long sinus infection. Then Eric gets a papilloma on his throat and has to go into surgery and is currently hacking up quarter-size blood boogers (he also has a deviated septum, which will need to be fixed, too). Addie's nose is still running like a fountain and this morning Nolie woke up sneezing out giant streams of snot. I am trying to remember to take my Amoxycillin three times a day so that my ear doesn't gurgle at night while my sinuses drain into it. We are a veritable water park of respiratory afflictions.
I hate all this. I personally am a total wuss when I'm sick, and Eric is unpleasant (and won't admit he is, which is the worst part). Addie is a bitter little pill when she's not feeling good, and Nolie just attaches herself to the boob 24-7. Friends without kids offer unhelpful advice, like that we should drink more green tea. Friends with kids tell us the truth: that until these children are safely ensconced in dorm rooms, we will all be sick. Forever.
This is especially unfortunate given that I am supposed to be back at work, sort of, and yet can only currently find six hours a week to get anything done, which is just enough time to answer emails, go pee, and logout. The rest of the time I am cleaning up snot, or ferrying people back and forth to the doctor's office, or trying not to be resentful of the whole situation.
I am grateful that new seasons of crappy reality tv are beginning on VH1. What did we ever do without cable? Read? Talk to each other? Totally overrated. When you feel like crap and the skin beneath your nose has completely flaked off and you are knee-deep in used kleenex, what you really need is a good hour of Breaking Bonaduce to put things in perspective.