That, and I've been stuck in the horrible torture vortex known as "my toddler is two and I want to throttle her." So I haven't had much nice to say, and this post isn't very nice either.
Somebody please tell Nolie that "Knock knock who's there apple apple peel" is not a funny joke. Not even after you tell it one hundred times in one day, it's not funny. In fact, it's less funny then. Way less funny.
Somebody please tell Nolie that when she comes to me and says "mama I have a pwesent for yew" it's adorable but I know she doesn't really have a present, but just a book that she wants me to read to her. Technically, that's not really a present for me. You're not fooling anybody with that one, Nolie.
Somebody please tell Nolie that when she goes nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhnuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhnuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh
for minutes on end it makes me wish I had joined the army in response to 9/11 instead of procreating.
You can also tell her that I know, I know, that when she's all wiggly at night before bed and we're sitting in the rocking chair and she won't settle down, I know she needs to poop and it completely grosses me out that she won't go on the toilet, but will take a dump in her diaper while sitting on my lap.
AND, I can feel her pinching me when we're snuggling. She thinks I don't notice, but I do. I just won't give her the satisfaction.
And I won't even talk about the way these two fight, Addie and Nolie. Lord. What is there to do?
I'm going to D.C.