Seeing my kids play on the beach every day of their lives wouldn't be too much, I think.
We mostly spent the weekend spending time with family, but for an hour on Sunday before our plane left, we did this:
There was so much that was good about this weekend. Before we left, Addie was starting to tell a lot of stories about little kids whose moms had left them, or died, or went to work all the time. Both girls were fussy a lot of the time. Nolie didn't want to be put down--I think she is always worried that I'm leaving. These four days went a long way in healing these painful signs. Four days of uninterrupted mommy time helped.
This is harder to pull off at home, when I feel torn by my other obligations to work and the house. But this weekend was a good reminder of how important my family is to me, and I to them.
And Eric. He is such the protector of us all. Whenever we have time to just be together, I fall for him all over again. I love him more all the time, his attention to us, his fear for us, his unwavering support.
The first two days we were in San Diego, I felt wound so tight, like I just wanted to curl in a ball and sleep--the stress of the weeks prior was deeply ingrained in my bones, I think. By Saturday, though, I was feeling better rested, more relaxed, smiling more. Stretching at night didn't hurt. And I loved being around family, loved these little Schneider kids, Addie and Gwen and Raiff and Nolie.
Here's Addie, begging Gwen to play with her (Gwen wasn't always so sure).
Addie woke up with croup every night we were there, but remained in pretty good spirits until yesterday on the plane, when her fever spiked and an ear infection, unseen before, got ugly. So, back to the doctor today. Now they think it might be allergies, that she just doesn't drain well. So she'll get Benadryl for a while at night, and hopefully that will help. I want her to be well, want to not spend so much time in doctor's offices. Want her not to have so many antibiotics.
I felt that old tension creeping into my shoulders today as we were driving to the doctor's, and forced myself to shake it off. Part of me was relieved to have the day home with her, and she's napping now, so that I can write this. Tomorrow, it is back to work for the final two weeks of the semester. Then we move, then some time off, I think. We'll head to Telluride for the bluegrass festival in June, and spend a lot of time in our beautiful new backyard this summer. I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait. Just three more weeks, then I think I'll figure some things out.