Monday, May 18, 2009

Doing So-Sew

I took some half-days off last week (okay, I took, like five half-days off, so technically the whole week).  I'd check email in the morning, flesh out a to-do list, maybe work on a revision a little, read a little.  Then I'd go nuts in the sewing room, cutting apart t-shirts and applique-ing everything not moving.  I spent an afternoon on a friend's back porch, sunning myself.  It was great.

And at the same time, there was some nagging guilt, quiet but persistent, about not getting started on the several major projects I have to make time on this summer:  the article, the article revisions, the book revisions, the class preps.  Time's a wasting, that little nagging voice would whisper.

Fuck off, I would whisper back.  I'm sewing, you.

Then I was reading one of my many books last night, which some of you folks might classify as "self-help" but which I think of a spiritual ballast, and came across this idea.  Make time, plenty of time, to do what you really want to do.  Then do it wholeheartedly.  Then, when you have to do things that maybe you aren't so passionate about, you won't find yourself wishing you were somewhere else.  You can devote yourself totally to the task of the moment.

I was applying it this way:  I should just schedule in a few hours every day to work on projects I really want to do, and then I won't resent having to work because I will have given myself that time.  I might even enjoy work more!  Weird, isn't?  Work less, but work better!  Play more, and play better!

I like it.

So, this week, I'm working, supposedly full-time.  But on my list everyday is written "time for sewing" or "talk a fancy nature walk" or something like that.  And it's just as important as the other stuff, and I give myself over to it, guilt-free.  That's the plan, anyway.  So, I may not get 40 hours a week done--I'm deciding that doesn't matter.  What matters is to do whole, focused work everyday, and whole, focused play.  And have faith things will fall into place anyway.

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I'm also putting it out to the universe that I need a new sewing machine.  I have an old Singer (like 1972 old), bought used for thirty bucks from Craig's List.  It's moderately reliable, but when it decides not to work anymore, it just doesn't work anymore.  And, dare I say it, I'd like something with a few more bells and whistles.  Not a Rolls-Royce, necessarily, but a good Toyota.  Just inviting the universe to bring that into my life, one of these days.

6 comments:

  1. What's a "fancy nature walk"? are you costumed, with a parasol? -Julie

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