Monday, March 19, 2007

Memo to Nolie

Dear Nolie,

You are wicked cute.  You have the roundest round face in the world, and I love it when you screech like a whacked-out bird from the Amazon.  I'm also excited that you have a new tooth, and that you want to walk so badly.  I'm happy to help you practice until you're strong enough to do it on your own.  You're my sweet, sweet, funny girl.

But, Nolie?  You are only seven months old.  And seven-month-olds need to nap during the day.  Pretending to be asleep for a half-hour in your crib while you're filling your diaper with stinky poops does not count.  It's really upsetting for us to have you act all tired and crabby--rubbing your eyes, whining, wanting to lay down--and then the minute we lay you in the crib, it's like PING!  Wide awake again.  So knock it off.

Don't get me wrong.  You're an awesome sleeper at night, and we're grateful for that.  But you also need to let go of your fear of missing something during the day, and just take your nap.

Also, I am not the only person in the world.  Other people, like your Dad and Miss Debbie, are allowed to hold you. 

Also, just because someone else looks at you funny, doesn't mean you have to freak out.  People will probably look at you your whole life, especially because you're so cute.  So you might want to relax and get used to it.

Also, you don't have to be carried constantly.  We have myriad bouncing, vibrating, rocking, and rolling baby seats for you to enjoy.  I'm not going to put you in one and then sneak away and never come back.  Plus, no offense, but you are heavy.  Have you been eating ball bearings when we're not looking?  Because it feels like you weigh about six hundred pounds.  So you're going to have to be put down occasionally, okay?

Finally, your bottle does not always have to be perfectly warm for you to drink it.  You can sometimes drink it even if it's gotten a little cool.  Maybe you don't have to be so picky all the time. 

Just some things for you to consider.




  1. Thankyou somuch for this blog!! you had me at roundest head! Made me think and laugh about my 8 month old, Atlas. I've been having a rough go of putting him in his crib for a nap.
    Thanks for the laugh!!

  2. I love the name Atlas!

    Glad I could make you laugh, and good to know I'm not alone in this napless, napless world. :)

  3. Dear Mama,

    You think you're funny, don't you? And yeah, I'll give you this, sometimes you are. But here's the deal--I have a shit ton to do every day and you are cramping my style with this nap thing. It seems as though you don't care that my forearm is growing one mm because at that very moment, you shove a bottle in my face or throw me in the padded prison. It ain't cool mama. Not cool at ALL.

    Nevertheless (a word Addie taught me, smart ass sister that she is) i love you.



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